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| I'm not sure whether this is Louis IX, but it was the only free image I found! |
Also known as Saint Louis. Yeah, a canonized monarch!
No wonder, though. I mean, that benevolent king has a long list of good deeds. For instance...
-Cut off the tongues of those who committed blasphemy.
-Burnt Jewish books.
-French tax payers had to pay a fortune in ransom to have him released when he was captured at the Seventh Crusade (we talked about the previous Crusades HERE and HERE and HERE).
-Paid 135.000 livres (taxpayers' money!) for some thorns and sawdust, just because he believed them to be Jesuses Crown of Thorns and a part of the True Cross respectively.
Whoops! Wrong list!
Ok, jokes aside, he has done good stuff too. For example...-Greatly improved the kingdom's economy.
-Gave a lot of charity to the poor.
-Abolished trials by ordeal. (In case you don't know, trial by ordeal is a practice whereby the accused were forced to perform various dangerous actions. It was believed that, if the accused was innocent, God would save them somehow. If, on the other hand, the accused was guilty... well, too bad for them.)
-Introduced the concept of the presumption of innocence, according to which a person is considered innocent until found guilty. A concept that applies nowadays everywhere in the developed world. Well, except in cases of rape accusations, where the man is usually considered guilty unless somehow proven innocent (if you don't believe me, ask Gregory Counts); feminism rules, baby!
-Was a skilled diplomat. At the Treaty of Corbeil (1258) and the Treaty of Paris (1259), he ended conflicts with Spain and England respectively.
For all the stuff above, though, Louis is mostly known for organizing the Seventh and Eighth Crusades.
But let's take it from the top.
Little Louis lost his father, Louis VIII, in 1226, when he was 12 years old. His mother, Blanche of Castile, ruled as a regent until he came of age, though she kept influencing him even afterward, even going as far as to interfere with his private life with his wife, Margaret of Provence (talk about being a mommy's boy).
In 1244, Louis got sick with malaria. Desperate not to die prematurely, the young monarch went like, 'God, please, give me back my health and I swear I will go on a Crusade to slay Muslims and Jews in your name. I know how much you love it when someone slays Muslims and Jews in your name. Am I right?'
Louis got better and kept his vow.
After lengthy preparations, he set off in 1248, accompanied by his bros, Count Robert of Artois and Count Charles of Anjou.
The Crusaders invaded Egypt and captured Damietta. However, that success was short lived. In 1250, in the battle of Al Mansurah, Louis was caught by the Egyptians, along with many soldiers and noblemen of his.
While Louis and the noblemen were eventually ransomed, the common soldiers weren't so lucky. The Egyptians were like, 'Listen, dudes, either you convert to Islam or lose your head.'
The soldiers awkwardly scratched their napes. 'Umm, may we ask the audience?'
'No! This isn't the Who Wants to be a Millionaire show, honeys.'
One would say that, after that, Louis had learnt his lesson.
Not!
In 1270, Louis organized the Eighth Crusade. The European people's excitement regarding Crusades had almost completely faded by then, only few people wanted to participate anymore, so how the hell could an eighth Crusade succeed where the previous seven had failed? And yet, Louis was like, 'Hey, why not?'
Anyway, the last Crusade in history practically ended before it began. You see, soon after Louises forces arrived in Carthage, they were struck by dysentery, which decimated the army, including Louis himself.
Are you sure it was dysentery? Maybe it was COVID.
No, I'm pretty sure it was dysentery.
But, in this world, one can die only of COVID. Therefore, there is no way it was dysentery. It was definitely COVID.
And yet, it was dysentery!
Along with Louis, the Crusades died as well.
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See you next time!
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