Victoria of the United Kingdom: She Is not Amused

 

She hated democracy and a political system where the monarch has only ceremonial duties. Yet it was during her reign that such a system was established for good.

She hated pregnancies, yet she had nine children.

She hated technological advances, yet it was during her reign when the British Empire grew into an industrial superpower.

Suddenly, I wish she hated my Amazon novels as well, for that would sure turn them into best sellers!

She was the longest reigning sovereign in the history of the United Kingdom (63 years), until she was surpassed by the reigning queen, Elizabeth II (God bless her), in 2015.

One of the most iconic monarchs of the country, her reign was named 'Victorian Era' after her. An era when the middle class finally got the right to vote (Reform Act 1867). An era characterized by stuff such as a strict set of rules of conduct, especially regarding sexual matters, an idealistic style in literature, even a distinctive dressing fashion.

Victoria was born in 1819 to Prince Edward, the fourth son of King George III (aka George the Cuckoohead), and Princess Victoria of Saxe Coburg Saalfeld. 

She was christened Alexandrina Victoria. The names Georgina, Charlotte and Augusta were proposed but rejected. Thankfully. I mean, imagine an alternate universe where she got one of those names and that era got to be called Georginian Era or Charlottian Era or Augustian Era. Wouldn't exactly roll off the tongue. Right?

Her father died when she was one year old and, by the time King George IV, the eldest son of King George III, ascended the throne, in 1820, Victoria was third in line of succession.

Little Victoria was raised isolated in an overprotective environment under her mother and Sir John Conroy, who was probably her mother's lover and therefore, in a sense, her stepfather. In any case, Victoria hated his guts.

A true child prodigy, she studied German, Latin, Italian and French at the same time. And, as every child prodigy, Little Victoria had a destiny in life, which she found out about when she was only 10 years old.

I mean, every child prodigy is on a noble mission in this world and they find out about it when they are very young. For instance, in the 1970s, two other brilliant female child prodigies, Little Eva Ionesco and Little Brooke Shields, found out that their own noble destiny was to throw all their clothes away and star in creepy movies that would cause all pedophiles around the world to thank God and that would have sent their directors to jail had they been filmed nowadays.

Likewise, the 10 year old Victoria found out about her own noble destiny (to become a queen) during a history class. The little girl went like, 'It's ok, I've got this.'

In 1835, the teenage Victoria contracted a typhoid fever, which her mother and Conroy at first disregarded as a whim of hers and later tried to use to their advantage in order to convince the future queen to appoint her stepfather as her secretary (and the 'parents of the year' award goes to...)

Vicky was crowned in 1837. That was when the crowns of the United Kingdom and Hanover got separated, since, according to the Salic Law, which still applied in Hanover, females were excluded from the line of succession (don't yell at me, feminists; I'm not the one who made that law). 

The new queen immediately took a liking to Lord Melbourne, prime minister and leader of the Whig party, to the extent of even financially supporting the party's electoral campaign.

 

Having spent her childhood, as we said above, in seclusion, with no childhood friends (barring her dog, Dash) and with problematic parents, the lonely, young queen came across an oasis in this desert called life when she met her first cousin, Prince Albert of Saxe Coburg and Gotha, whom she eventually married in 1840. And, before you exclaim, 'Sweet home Alabama,' mind that, back then, marriages between cousins was still a really common practice in royalty.

Victoria and Albert had nine children; evidently, the royal couple had no idea what condoms were, which is a little ironic, considering that, in 1897, condoms with the Queen's face on them started being sold!

During her super long reign, Victoria faced various scandals that threatened her public image. However, conveniently, almost every time that happened, an attempt on her life would restore her popularity. Or should I say, an 'attempt' on her life? I mean, most of those 'attempts' were ridiculously executed (e.g guns unloaded or filled with paper!) and the culprits received light punishments. So... just saying... am I the only one who thinks that something is fishy here?

Her husband's death in 1861 devastated her. After that, Victoria never was the same again. Not even her being declared Empress of India in 1876 could improve her mood!

During those moments of grief, a good friend was there to console her: Benjamin Disraeli, Earl of Baconsfield, a politician who, by consoling and flattering Her Majesty, earnt her support and rose to become prime minister. Talk about selfless devotion!

Victoria condoned Disraeli's expansionist policy. 

(Gasp) But how could a conservative, strictly religious queen condone something like that? 

Well, because, without an expansionist policy, the British Empire wouldn't have been an empire to begin with, fellows. Besides, as she claimed, this protected underdeveloped nations from even worse fates. The aforementioned nations on the other hand begged to differ, hence the Anglo Zulu War (1879) and Second Anglo Afghan War (1878-1880).

And, that's all for today, I guess.

Trivia 1: Victoria was also an author. Who hasn't read her famous diary? (Ok, I admit I haven't!) 

Trivia 2: HERE is a fascinating video I found on youtube and I think is worth sharing. The real voice of Queen Victoria recorded! A living legend!

Do you know what else you can read apart from Victoria's diary? My novels on Amazon (author page HERE).

Also, don't forget to advertise my novels/blog posts on social media.

See you next time!