Early History of Wales/Cornwall

 

So, as we said HERE, after the Anglo-Saxon invasion of South Great Britain, there were still some parts where Celts managed to maintain their independence. 

One part was the Kingdom of Dumnonia, which included Cornwall and a part of Somerset. It was named after a Celtic tribe called Dumnonii, though, in the 6th century, a monk called Gildas used the variant Damnonia as a pun, because he wanted to damn King Constantine, whom he considered immoral. (You see, monks are not allowed to use bad language, for obvious reasons, so Gildas couldn't say 'fuck' instead of 'damn'; besides, the name 'Fuckonia' would sound awkward anyway.)

In any case, the aforementioned kingdom was eventually conquered by the Anglo-Saxons of the Kingdom of Wessex in the 9th century.

Ever since, Cornwall has been a part of the Kingdom of England, though the Cornish have been trying to gain some sort of autonomy recently (the campaign for Cornish devolution began in 2000 and its aim is the creation of a Cornish parliament). Hell they even formed their own national soccer team in 2018, though they can participate neither in the European Championship nor in the World Cup.

But let's go back to ancient times. 

Another part where Celts could enjoy their independence was Wales. That country was divided into the following kingdoms: Gwynedd, Powys, Deheubarth, Glywysing and Gwent. (Legend says that if you manage to pronounce all these names correctly in a row, first try, to the tune of an Ariana Grande song, the mysteries of the universe shall be revealed to you).

After centuries of bickering, dynastic marriages, wars and exchanges of insults on Youtube, the country was united in 1057 under Gruffydd ap Llywelyn, who became the first and last Welsh monarch to rule the entire Wales. 

After Gruffydd's death, in 1063, Wales was divided anew into the old, small kingdoms that were at one another's throats. 

Llywelyn Fawr was the first Prince of Wales. Actually, his grandfather, Owain Gwynedd, used to call himself that too, but he never officially received that title; he just liked pretending that he was one, so that he had a thought to jack off to in lonely nights. Llywelyn, on the other hand, was officially declared Prince of Wales, when, at a council at Aberdyfi in 1216, Welsh lords swore fealty to him.

Llywelyn ap Gruffudd even had King Henry III of England acknowledge him as such (Treaty of Montgomery, 1267). Little did poor Llywelyn know that he would also be the last Prince of Wales.

You see, according to the aforementioned treaty, Llywelyn was supposed to do homage to the king of England. However, when, in 1275, the new king, Edward I, invited him to Chester to do so, Llywelyn gave him the middle finger.

The last straw was Llywelyn's decision to marry Eleanor, daughter of Simon de Montfort, who had rebelled against Edward's father. 

Eddie declared Llywelyn a rebel and attacked in 1277 with 15.5 thousand men. (Ahh, the good, old days when an army consisting of a few thousand men was considered a force to reckon with. The days when any deadbeat like me could deem himself a significant factor.) In that expedition, Edward was helped by Welsh noblemen, including Llywelyn's brother, Dafydd.

When his wife was kidnapped by Edward, Llywelyn had no other choice but to surrender. According to the Treaty of Aberconwy (1277), Llywelyn lost the majority of his territories, which were split between Edward and Dafydd.

War broke out anew in 1282, when Dafydd suddenly decided that he wasn't content with his share.

Llywelyn was killed in battle and Dafydd was executed. 

And so, Wales was annexed by England and, eventually, the Prince of Wales title came to be traditionally given to the monarch's firstborn son. (Don't be mad, Welsh people; I know that, nowadays, you're peers of the United Kingdom.)

Sad fact: Llywelyn's newborn daughter, Gwellian (her mother died while giving birth), was sent by Edward to Sempringham Priory in Lincolnshire, lest she ever claimed the throne or produced offspring that might do so. She spent all her life in those premises. She died when she was 54. 😞

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